35 years single without children, what to do with my life

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Dear diary… (Yeah I wanted to start like that). Dear diary, today is February 15, 2021. As if COVID and the lack of social life weren’t enough, today I start my day with all the Valentine’s Day posts. Enough to stay frozen in my bed staring at the ceiling with this sentence in mind ” 35 years old single without childrenWhat to do with my life ?”

Yet I think that in our time being single at 35 is more a fact of society than an accident, isn’t it? After all, one in three people is said to be single. But can we really say that we made this choice? I don’t know about you but for me this year was the year of all questions. Did I miss something? What if I had done this? Should I trust? Why can’t I? Usually that’s when I realize it’s already late. Let’s continue.

The hits of a bachelor’s blues

social pressure

They say that a single woman who assumes, it disturbs in a certain way. If it does not fit into the codes, it is more or less stigmatized. This is why the couple continues to impose itself as the social norm and the ideal of happiness. #CoupleGoal

But between us, we all know couples who would do better to separate rather than suffer each other… Luckily not all of them of course, but I’m sure you know some too. So why is it still so common to hear “So and when is it for you? Marriage children?”. Something to fuel my morning torment.

But looking back I think it’s a bit like ice cream. Yes yes like ice cream. Few people don’t like it. And when we offer it to someone, we think that he or she should like it even if he or she has never tasted it.

Well our parents, who love us in general, and who are the first to remind us that time passes would like us to discover the pleasure of this ice cream like them. Sometimes even better…

Thus, even if the intention is good, the result is not necessarily so. Fortunately in my entourage the subject does not come up too much but there are other reminders…

loneliness

Well yeah, 35 years old single and alone at home… Well, not all the time, but hey, you get the idea. Neither dog, nor cat, nor goldfish in my life I have Siri! And of course, loneliness is heavy, sometimes.

There are girlfriends via our Whatsapp group, but without our little meetings it’s not the same. And then eating one-on-one with Netflix at the start is great: 1 season in 1 weekend yeaaah. Then it becomes: deja vu, deja vu deja vu, argh and now what to do with my life? I warned you it’s almost my evening prayer.

I understand better why Mrs. Flora, my little retired neighbor on the ground floor was so happy to kiss me when I went to work. In short, sometimes, I must say that it is rather harsh. The emotional desert undermines us little by little and I haven’t even mentioned genetics yet.

The biological clock

I think that’s the worst. Especially if you are neither for nor against life as a couple, marriage, children, etc. The passage of time makes you think about it.

More than five years to have a child, more than four years…
But no, you are forgetting the progress of science. And this woman who gave birth at 70!

For my part, I think that adoption is always an option. Offering a home to a child to put me to sleep is pretty good as a life project, isn’t it? But for some people, this biological countdown becomes an obsession. To the point of no longer supporting to see young parents happy.

Sad observation will you tell me? But there are not only disadvantages to being single at 35 years old . As I briefly mentioned at the beginning, this situation can very well be a choice. Sometimes also linked to a lifestyle.

The satisfactions

Indeed, not receiving romantic little words for Valentine’s Day can play on morale, but I can reassure you sometimes that I congratulate myself on my choices.

personal development

Lying on my bed staring at the ceiling I was able to begin meditation. Sitting cross-legged with your hands on your knees didn’t suit me so I listened to my body and took the time to work on myself in my own way.

These lines that I write allow me to let go of these thoughts that cross me and to move on. I am fully connected to my emotions, and that is very important to be able to move forward.

The exchanges with colleagues caught up in their children lead me to think that celibacy has particularly contributed to this. Finally, they don’t make me so envious once February 14 has passed. Or when they fear that their partner will turn their gaze elsewhere. We all have ups and downs, there is no perfect path. Some people grow better together and others need to realize that solitude can also be useful.

independence

Finally, one of the chances that we, single 35-year-olds, have is to organize our lives as we see fit.

When you are a teenager you would like to but the means are sometimes lacking and in the first steps in working life it can also be tricky. But past a certain point… Let’s go !!!

I go on a trip, I meet people. It doesn’t necessarily work, but hey, I would have at least discovered a new region. Just like that, leaving on a whim… Something I never did when I was in a relationship.

But yes I was I assure you. Everything had to be perfect. Well organized to enjoy every moment. And it happened to be the case. Since then I have learned to be more spontaneous and I love it!

In my professional life too, I took the time to focus on the projects that were close to my heart. To write in particular.

The little pleasures

I have built my life, and somewhere it suits me. When I wonder what to do with my life now, I continue with “what do I already have?”.

Nothing is perfect, and we always want what we don’t have. But when reading his words think of someone who can’t see and for a moment you will appreciate having the sight, the hearing the touch…

Hope and well-being

As long as there is life…

They say you shouldn’t look for it to happen when it happens. I’m not sure if I believe it myself but one thing is certain, no one knows what tomorrow will bring.

You have to know how to take advantage of the present moment. Telling yourself that what you sometimes take for a failure is an experience. I believe that life has many surprises in store for us, and when you are in tune with yourself, things happen by themselves.

Maybe I’ll find someone tomorrow or maybe not, but moping around is never good. And besides, that doesn’t make us look good. So at the next signs of depression, ask yourself what you could do right now rather than what you would have done if…

Try new experiences, podcasts, drawing, online training , a skills assessment with a few questions, jogging in the rain. What does it matter! No need to make a list, get started as soon as possible. You’ll find that sometimes that’s all you need. A small impulse that gives you a positive energy. Applying yourself to react like this every time can make the difference.

So yes I am 35 years old I am single and childless but today I am delighted to have spent a few hours writing these lines. I hope some will be useful, they will have occupied me at least a moment. All this whetted my appetite. Now what? Find a cookie recipe.

I wish you a good life. 😉

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35 years single without children, what to do with my life
35 years single without children, what to do with my life
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