How to get over a breakup

Team Lifeview
Update : 08/09/2020
How to get over a breakup

This is a huge subject ... I think we've all been there or at least very many. Overcome a breakup is not easy. I decided to start writing this article, hoping that it will be useful to as many people as possible.

I specify any time that in this article it will be mainly question of the case of painful or brutal rupture as you can imagine it. But in a romantic relationship this decision can be made by mutual agreement without any negative emotions. In this case the situation may be different from what we will see together here. 

Let's start with the beginning

After a breakup, negative things invade the mind. For example, you are sad or angry. Separation is a painful phase and some doctors sometimes even compare it to what it feels like after a death. We even talk about "mourning love".

Everything you've built together is reduced to nothing with the snap of your fingers. Plans for the future may not see the light of day and all you have left are your past memories. Before looking at solutions, I suggest you delve a little more into the different phases that follow a breakup. But you can also go directly to the point you are interested in using the table of contents.

The different post-rupture phases

After separation, a person usually goes through different stages. Each of these phases requires time, periods that would be impossible to estimate. You can read that there are 5 or 10 but in my opinion it is important to simply remember that it varies depending on the individual. I suggest you discover some of them. 

  1. The phase of devastation

    The devastation begins when your partner announces their intention to leave you. It is the stage which remains the most difficult to overcome. In some cases you think it is the end of your life, a nightmare that you wish you could wake up from. There are even cases where the person will find himself in a second state, catatonic, the cause of which is emotional shock according to psychologists.
  2. Internalization

    It is a period of regrets and questions. A moment when you say to yourself, I should have done this, acted like this, avoided that etc ... A form of introspection not always very objective. The goal is to identify in one's own actions a way to correct things and bring about a return to "normal". It is a phase that is sometimes recognizable by a tendency to move away from those around you in order to close in on yourself. Special vigilance here because this can be the harbinger of the onset of depression.
  3. Anger

    When no solution is identified, it is not uncommon to want to externalize the frustration and helplessness in the face of the situation and this by expressing anger. It will manifest itself by perhaps cries and insults surely. But tears can also express some form of anger. Just like radical changes: change of look, new habits, new style of dress, haircut consumption of alcohol ... Anger can manifest itself in many forms. Be careful not to let it dominate you in order to approach the next phase in the best conditions. 
  4. The withdrawal

     Romantic relationships lead some couples to a state of dependence. This is especially harmful after a separation. In fact, the abandoned person wants to feel the presence of his ex by his side. It is therefore no coincidence that the term weaning is used. Indeed, it is possible to assimilate this physiological need to a drug. Just like step 1, it is something that you have to be able to accept. Likewise, you have to accept nostalgia and fear. Breaking up does not mean forgetting and when everything did not go as planned we are sometimes prey to doubts. Let us remember then that the obstacles were made to be overcome with the following phase.
  5. The recovery also called recovery

    Your mind is now more peaceful you have managed to take a step back. Starting a new life with someone is a new part of your plans. A positive conclusion, isn't it ?! In any case, that's what I wish you. Note, however, that you should not rush things. Don't look for a simple replacement for your previous story. The "dressing relationship" is seldom lasting. But that can be a choice just like a relationship purely turned on the sexual desire. but it is still a vast subject. At this stage to avoid falling back into the same cycle I would tell you to be sure of what you want and that it is in agreement with your partner. After getting over a breakup, don't try to make someone else feel how you felt. This may be a sign that you are not yet fully in this recovery phase. Remember anger can ....

Battle plan to overcome the rupture:

Draw up a lucid assessment

After the relationship is over, you need to start by taking a balance sheet. You will then take a sheet of paper and write down the list of things that you liked about the old relationship. You also need to understand the reasons for failure. Did one of your characters cause the partner to estrange? Jealousy and possessiveness are often the common causes of this situation. The person then feels imprisoned. 

Thanks to this method, you will be able to understand the reasons for the malfunction. You could then succeed in relativizing the sadness. When the list of things you hate is large, you can get over a breakup easily. Indeed, you don't need the person. On the other hand, if you were happy, then things will get tough, because you are going to have to accept the separation. 

Destroy all links

After separation, it is recommended to forget the memories. To do this, you have to break the ties with the person. In this specific case, you must delete their photos or burn the gifts from the person. It is all the more necessary to move away from his circles of friends. You can also consider going on vacation. To overcome the 5 post-rupture phases, a person will take about 2 to 3 months. 

It is also essential to cut ties with your ex at least for 1 month. Know that weaning will not be easy if you still speak in private message. If so, you could say you miss him or her. From there, things will get even more complicated. 

How to externalize these negative feelings?

Many people express these feelings with the help of food. It is possible to evoke chocolates. This is a bad idea, at least if you eat a large amount daily. We must stay away from cigarettes and alcohol. These substances can lead to addiction. To express your feelings, it is a good idea to talk to a friend. When you can't get over it, I recommend going to a psychologist. Through the presence of these people, you will remove bad thoughts from your head because you are not alone. You can also consider mediation.

When to start a new relationship

You should not start a new relationship without having been completely healed of your wounds. In fact, you risk transposing your ex's weaknesses onto the man or the woman. Conflicts will then become your daily life since you lack confidence. Then the person will leave you in turn. If you haven't found the answer you were looking for in the content, I invite you to comment on the article. 


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