Small-group wedding: 10 reasons to let yourself be tempted

Last update :
13 November 2020

Why choose a small committee wedding? How to tell your loved ones that they will not all be invited to this small wedding? These are questions that I will try to answer in this article. In the introduction I will start with the other possible choice which is that of the big celebration in order to review why it is a popular option. But you can click on the links in the table of contents and go straight to the advantages of a “small” celebration, you will discover that they can also be disadvantages… But I am already saying too much…

Couple having hands folded
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Yes, because for many a wedding is a magical moment. The dream of some little girls to wear this princess dress, or this traditional outfit, to walk to the altar. But also the pride and the emotion of a large number of fathers to be present for their child under the gaze of the guests ...

I'm sure you can imagine the scene very well…

Because the option of a big wedding without being excessive is the most common. And this in the majority of countries in the world. The grand ceremony is also often the most popular of the married family. This is the opportunity to meet for celebrate a happy event and very often one of the few during which the distance will become a surmountable obstacle.

It may seem obvious, but choosing a big celebration is also and above all choosing to invite more people. Like allowing a colleague to be accompanied by his wife and children. Or even to invite the college professor without whom we would never have enrolled in the Latin course which led to the meeting with the chosen one of his heart….

It is also sometimes the occasion to reconnect, to put aside old quarrels, taking advantage of the emotion of the moment. Or send a message such as “We don't see each other often but I won't forget you”.

Some people also like the idea of having a big wedding because socially it conveys a certain message it seems. In any case, this is the feedback that has been made several times during the discussions that enabled the writing of this article.

Although it has been almost obvious until now, nowadays many bride and groom are considering or being tempted by a small committee wedding. Let's find out some of the reasons together.

The place of the ceremony.

Have you ever tried to find a room that can accommodate 300 people at a declining price during the “wedding season”? Well from what I know, it is not easy at all and it is better to do it well in advance.

We are talking about price yes, but not only. It is also a question of the area, and the frame. You may want a more original place for your wedding than this communal hall where the unions of your two neighbors were celebrated ... And depending on your number of guests, you will have to juggle with the capacity. Or not…

Choose a intimate celebration it means allowing yourself a great variety in the choice of the place where you intend to say “yes” to yourself.

You may not have thought about it before, but if you are looking for an atypical place to celebrate your union, you should take a look at the site Airbnb. During my research I came across this article from the very famous site Huffpost. In the latter are presented 16 residences available on Airbnb and recommended as places for a reception and / or a small committee wedding ceremony.

For my part, although I have never stayed there, I was seduced by this villa in Bali. Of course, just as with a classic reception hall, it is advisable to go there before making the final decision to plan such an important event.

Small wedding: big trip - Idea for a small wedding in Bali

Kill two birds with one stone.

You have probably already understood the message hidden in the title is of course to unite at the place of your honeymoon. Besides if a marriage abroad is an idea that speaks to you I'm sure you've already thought about it.

If it has to be done on the other side of the world, not sure that your 300 guests will be present. In that case the little committee seems to be the right choice.

When small wedding rhymes with big trip... Imagine, the fine sand, the sound of the waves ... Having attended a wedding on a beach in Cancun, Mexico, I can assure you that the concept of small committee marriage abroad can be something memorable.

The general organization of the event.

Let's talk a bit about the organization, and by that I mean everything that happens before D-Day. This is an important aspect in choosing between a union in complete privacy or a big celebration.

Because first of all, as we have already mentioned, the choice and availability of places will not be the same. Then for other aspects related to the number of people present, such as the caterer, this is likely to weigh in the balance.

And then each guest brings their share of work in organizing a wedding. Check the contacts ... Send the invitations ... Wait for everyone's feedback on their availability as well as the accompanying persons ... Start the seating plans, remembering not to put your colleague next to your cousin's new wife, his ex ...

Incidentally, the longer the organization will take to be finalized, the more it is likely to be a source of stress. And whatever the size of the event and the number of guests. However, if you are only a handful it can be a formality very quickly completed. Without neglecting the moment of course.

While reading this passage a friend said to me "I had not thought about all that but it is decided for me it will be small marriage". Ah that I answered "Make sure to be very far-sighted to find a photographer in this case". Because yes although it is a question of advantages of small-scale marriage, this can also present some difficulties.

Some providers such as photographers or caterers tend to favor large celebrations. Between you and me it is partly linked to the financial aspect. But also because often what is announced as a small ceremony is not that much or is as much work as a great.

The wedding budget.

It is quite easy to conclude less mouth to feed and less space needed therefore less expense.

Often a private wedding will cost less than a large celebration. But this is not an absolute truth, it will depend in particular on your choices and your organization. The fact of not waiting for the last minute for example ...

Don't get me wrong, being 10 to a wedding doesn't mean no expenses. Exchanging vows in front of a sunset in front of the majestic Sofitel de Tahiti, it's magnificent and it comes at a price! But it is also and above all much more original than the town hall's village hall.

For the record, I knew a couple who had to postpone a wedding date because of a tragic event when they were just starting to calculate their wedding budget. And who decided a few weeks after hearing the news to change plans. They opt for theelopement, which can be likened to the style of small intimate wedding which we will talk about a little further down. The ceremony was certainly less expensive. But a good chunk of their initial budget was used to make this moment unique and personal.

The luxury of being able to "forget" an invitee.

Perhaps you have already thought when organizing an event: “Have I thought of everyone?” And in particular this or that person in particular. Or this cousin and this friend that we almost feel obligated to invite.

Well you can imagine, but the more guests there are, the more likely he or she who is not will be angry with you ... And this even if it was not intentional.

Rejoice when your guest list is less than 30 people, or when it stops at your parents and witnesses, the question does not even arise.

There is little chance that we will blame you in this scenario. However, you may feel remorse. Or not…

Ah yes, I forgot. Although he is not invited, think about your photographer all the same. It would be a shame not to immortalize the moment.

The time given to each.

Future bride and her bridesmaids

Remember that everyone present at your wedding will certainly have made the trip to share this special moment with you. It will therefore be “your duty” to give each guest a moment. And the bigger the list, the more difficult the exercise will be.

But on the other hand, when you have a larger or smaller number of guests you can also afford the luxury of becoming invisible. They will have the opportunity to interact with each other without constantly wondering where you are.

Small-group weddings give you the opportunity to really give your guests time. Those people that you have surely sorted who answered "Present". And then it can continue with a stay with friends. One stone, three birds ... It's up to you to choose the destination well.

Small-group marriage = fewer smartphones.

Why does a small committee wedding have some advantages? As a wedding photographer I would say because it means he will have fewer laptops.

In our time when mobiles are optimized to produce beautiful images, no one is deprived of taking tons of them. And this without worrying about the service provider in charge of all his photo equipment who is looking for an angle, an emotion, a look ...

The irony in all of this is that this person hired to immortalize a special moment, must now make his way among those who feed stories and ephemeral galleries.

"Oops, was I in front of you?" "And hop, an enlargement of a teary-eyed grandmother who will never see the light of day ...

So of course I will be told that requests for paper prints and wedding albums are on the decline. But still. This is why a celebration with a small number of people can be of particular interest to your photographer. In some cases this allows it to be better identified by the guests. To facilitate exchanges, instructions, to be able to put at ease sometimes tense subjects, and not to miss anyone.

You will understand that this "advantage" is close to my heart. But let's continue, we have two points left to address.

When to face your fear is inconceivable.

As mentioned above, getting married is somewhere to be the star of the day. The one to whom all eyes will be turned.

It is sometimes one of the rare times that some will speak in front of an assembly. You will understand that I am referring to the exchange of wishes and other possible speech.

Marriage itself can quickly become a source of stress. And this as well in its preparation, as when it comes to exchanging alliances. So much so that it happens that the spouses get the wrong hands or fingers, even though they have played this scene in their heads hundreds of times.

Yes indeed it is experience. Seen and reviewed but I never tire of it ^ _ ^.

But more seriously. Although these little misses can cause little smiles when you think about it. There are people for whom standing in the midst of a crowd is impossible. And for whom being the center of attention provokes panic attacks. This does not mean that they are not entitled to their moment of happiness. A ceremony in complete privacy is more suitable. Or even a very small wedding as is'elopement.

Outdoor wedding celebration

What is elopement?

Indeed what is the elopement that I have been talking about for a few paragraphs already? In fact it is an English term which can be translated as " running away ".

You have surely already seen a movie or a series where 2 people decide to get married on a whim in a small chapel in Las Vegas? Well, to make it short, that's the elopement. With the difference that you don't have to do that to Végas.

It may happen that one of the points mentioned above is at the origin of this choice. Or other factors such as family tensions, the difficulty to agree on the details of the celebration etc ... But for some couples there are no hidden reasons to find there.

It is a way of getting married that is very popular in some areas of the world. Getting married in a very small committee, or even with someone you know, a couple, an officiant, a witness ...

A very intimate wedding, where the presence of only one person is essential ...

How to announce a wedding in small committee?

At the end of this long article where it seemed important to me to provide concrete elements, some of you will say to me "That's all that but how to announce a wedding in a small committee? »How not to upset? 

Well, I don't have a ready-made template for you, but be as transparent as possible. Try to avoid half measures. Decide between small committee and large marriage from the start of the organization. Having a clear idea makes it easier to express it.

Although the elopement has been referred to as an almost secret marriage, I advise you not to retain it as such. Secrets don't last. Especially in our time when the most private information can end up on the networks….

But remember one thing, it is your marriage, not that of your entire family. It's a unique day in your life, sometimes even a new start. And it's up to you to share it with the greatest number or a select few of the people who matter to you.

And even if you decide to entrust the organization to a wedding planner, this remains your day. The important thing is that you can take full advantage of it.

Remember that your big day will be like no other.

PS: If your heart tells you, describe your ideal marriage in comment below. It is always a pleasure to know your vision of this special moment.

An article from: 
Julien.B
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